it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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