I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
