u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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