like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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