Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
