Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
