ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
