I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
