I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
