There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
