i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
worst night to have a conscience
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
