Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
