That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize