is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
