Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Mom said you looked used
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
