It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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