His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
