threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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