You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
