All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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