My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
