As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
