The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
