Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is wine microwaveable?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
