Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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