if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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