I heard we made out
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
