thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
