u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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