this just has baby written all over it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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