Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
