Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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