those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
and she was petting her beer can
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
