Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
