So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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