i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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