Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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