My liver just broke up with me...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
