There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
this hospital has no fireball
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
