My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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