hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
