If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I deserve this hangover.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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