Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
