I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
