I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize