He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Enjoy the penises
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
