Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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