the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
