something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
