My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
